Big Rocks of Life

 

Originally Published in Metro Christian Living

Stephen Covey, bestselling author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People shares in a impactful YouTube video about the importance of getting the “Big Rocks” of life straight by using rocks, gravel, and sand to fill a container.  What he demonstrates is that the “Big Rocks” only fit in if you put them in first.  He uses this metaphor to emphasize the importance of “putting first things first.”  In an age when we have so many things competing for our time, this can be a big challenge.  This skill of prioritization requires an awareness of what we truly value and deem important.  If we don’t identify these big rocks and prioritize them in our schedules, then they tend to get pushed to the margins.  As Christians, putting first things first means that we keep our eyes and focus on Christ.  As it states in Matthew 6:33, we are to  “seek first His kingdom and His righteousness . .”

I attended a funeral recently of a friend and spiritual mentor of mine, David Dean.  It was probably the most impactful funeral I have ever attended.  By worldly standards, he had not necessarily achieved remarkable things.  He was never particularly wealthy or successful in business.  He never had a huge house or fancy cars.  He never held elected office or held major leadership positions.  In fact, before he became a Christian, he had been divorced and estranged from his children.  However, he sought God with all of his heart and left a huge spiritual legacy.  As demonstrated by the testimony of his family and friends, he was a diligent man of faith and an outstanding father, husband, and friend.

For almost thirty years, David would go weekly to prisons to share the Gospel with prisoners and to offer them hope and encouragement.  He took serious Jesus’ words in Matthew 25:36 that “I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’’ Thousands of people came to know Christ because Dean was a faithful servant and lived out what he read in Scripture.  He would often get up in the middle of night and spend hours in prayer.  He enjoyed spending uninterrupted time at the feet of our Father.  For years, he would meet with other believers weekly to pray for revival, pray for the sick, and pray for those in need of deliverance.  As he lay on his deathbed, he had assurance because he had truly “put first things first.”

There are many entertaining diversions to distract us from getting the Big Rocks in life on first.  I find that most of the Big Rocks fall into the important, but not urgent category.  If I skip my daily quiet time, then I don’t get an angry voice message or email from God.  I tend to spin around in circles and handle all of the urgent but not important things clamoring for my attention.  As the title of Charles Hummel’s book states, there is certainly a Tyranny of the Urgent! However, I am encouraged by faithful believers like Dean who show me what it means to get the Big Rocks right.  I only hope that I can try and “put first things first” like he did and finish strong to leave a legacy of what really matters in life and eternity.

(c) Martin E. Willoughby, Jr.

Hold the Ropes


Originally Published in Metro Christian Living

As I was getting a little exercise in the hotel gym, I was watching the morning news and they were reporting about an airplane crashing into one of the World Trade Center buildings.  There were conflicting reports about what was going on, but as it became apparent this was a terrorist attack, I quickly got off my exercise bike and made my way back to my hotel room.  I happened to be in Manhattan on business on 9/11, and I became increasingly concerned about the situation.  In the next few hours, the scope of the attack became more apparent and rumors were flying about potential poison gas attacks as well.  The authorities had locked down Manhattan and so I was not sure what to do.  While getting a phone signal was difficult, I managed to get through to my wife Nicki.  As we assessed the situation, she mentioned that one of my friends, Roger Davis, had called and knew I was in Manhattan.  He said he was going to get in his car and come get me.  While this did not ultimately prove necessary as I finally got off the island on a train, I reflect back on that event and his willingness to step into danger to help a friend.

In Acts 9, we learn about Paul narrowly escaping harm in Damascus.  He was a new Christian and had been boldly preaching the Gospel.  The local officials were trying to kill him, but “the disciples took him by night, and let him down by the wall in a basket” (Acts 9:25).  The Scriptures don’t tell us who these disciples were.  All we know is that they probably risked their lives to faithfully help Paul escape imminent danger.   If they would have failed in their mission, Paul would have been killed and most of the New Testament would never have been written.  The followers who helped Paul had no idea who Paul would go on to become; however, they answered the call for help. William Carey, considered the “Father of Modern Missions” was speaking with his friends about his willingness to go into the mine shaft to mine for heathen souls and he famously stated, “I will go down the mine, if you will all hold the ropes for me.” He ended up being a missionary to India where dedicated his life to winning lost souls for Christ.

We all need people in our lives who will “hold the ropes” for us.  We need people who will be there in good times and bad.  These type people are the first to call or show up in times of trouble.  These people are our encouragers and supporters.  We also need to consider whom God has put in our “basket” that we are supposed to hold the ropes.  Being a “rope holder” is not easy.  It requires us to be trustworthy and to think of others over ourselves.  In our fallen state, we are selfish people, but in Christ, we become focused on the needs of others.  Rope holders are people who work behind the scenes.  They are not in it for the glory.  To be a rope holder means that we invest ourselves in the lives of others.  Perhaps God has put a neighbor or co-worker in your basket.  Maybe God is leading you to be a rope holder for a disadvantaged youth or elderly widow.  Amidst our busy lives, we can be still and listen for whom God is directing us to help.  When opportunity knocks, we will be ready to serve and be a “rope holder” for someone in a time of need.

(c) Martin E. Willoughby, Jr.

 

 

Ragamuffins

Originally Published in Metro Christian Living

I have an admitted sweet tooth.  In my weaker and more pathetic moments, I will stop by the local convenience store by our house and buy my favorite kind of cookie. One day as I was standing in a rather long line at the store, I took a moment and looked around at the other people in line with me waiting to make their purchases.  It struck me that we were all in line buying things to feed our vices.  Some were feeding a nicotine addiction; some were refueling on alcohol, while others like me were indulging a sweet tooth.  Since my family and I are repeat customers of this particular store, I have gotten to know the personnel who work there.  The cashier confirmed my hunch that she and her co-workers get to see us customers indulging our guilty pleasures all day long.  They don’t see us posing in our perfect lives, but instead in our weakness.  This simple insight led me to consider more about how beneath the veneer of our often “perfect” lives, most everyone struggles with deeper issues.

How many marriages are suffering in silence?  On numerous occasions, I have been shocked to learn of couples splitting up that I had no idea were even having problems.  How many people struggle with alcohol or drug addictions yet appear to be perfectly fine to their neighbors and co-workers? How many men struggle with secret addictions to pornography?  I believe that one of the real challenges to a life of faith is to recognize our own weakness and need for a Savior.  We live in a modern technologically advanced age where it’s easy to delude ourselves that we don’t need God.  This lie fuels us to believe that we can just work harder, think more positively, and convince ourselves that we are in control and can “fix” ourselves.  My own false belief that I can control my life is an ongoing challenge in my faith walk.

I enjoyed Brennan Manning’s book The Ragamuffin Gospel in which he reflects on God’s mercy and his grace. A ragamuffin is defined as “a ragged and often disreputable person.”  In the book, he points out, “To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side and the dark. In admitting my shadow side I learn who I am and what God’s grace means.”  Manning reminds us that Christ loves us deeply and that we have done nothing to deserve or earn that love.  In the Scriptures, Paul tells us that “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”

The idea of God’s grace can sound like purely theological talk until we admit our own failures and personally experience it. This only comes when we realize we can’t “fix” ourselves.  We tend to want to earn this type forgiveness rather than accept the gift of it.  As recipients of grace, we also have the opportunity to share it with others. We become instruments of the abundance of God’s blessings.  When we acknowledge that we are all ragamuffins then perhaps we can show more compassion and understanding for one another. Perhaps we can be more attuned to the challenges that those around us may be facing.   As ragamuffins, our only boasting is in Christ and what he has done for us.   In our busy lives, perhaps we all need a little time to reflect on this magnificent truth!

(c) Martin E. Willoughby Jr.

 


Breath of Life

Originally Published in Metro Christian Living

I distinctively remember being a new parent and bringing my first child home from the hospital.  What an incredible feeling!  I was both excited and terrified.  This little person was my responsibility.  I can’t count how many times in those early years that I would put my hand on her chest and make sure she was still breathing. Sure, it was paranoia, but bad things can happen. I had heard scary stories of infants suddenly stopping breathing. No book can really prepare you for that feeling when you need reassurance that your precious child is alive and well.

Most of us don’t think much about our breathing.  The average person takes about 15 breaths a minute or 21,600 breaths a day.   We do it unconsciously.  This life-giving process goes on from our first gasp of air as a newborn until our dying breath.  In the Bible, the word ruach is used to describe wind, breath,  and spirit. As it relates to God, this term is used to describe the Spirit of God (Gen. 1:2, Job 33:4). As it relates to people, we see in Ezekiel 37:5, that, “This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you and you will come to life.” Similarly, Job described to his friends “the breath of God” in his nostrils (Job 27:3).

For me, one of the challenges of a life of faith is the invisible nature of it.  We serve an invisible God.   The Holy Spirit is a mysterious aspect of the Trinity that is formless and shapeless.  I can see how ancient people fell into building statutes and idols to worship.  They were searching for the invisible God and fell into idolatry.  Today, we don’t build many golden calves, but we do have plenty of potential distracting idols for our hearts whether it’s materialism, money, etc.  It is easy for us to feel disconnected from the divine. In our daily life we eat, we sleep, we work – maybe play a little.  Sometimes life can feel like the film Groundhog Day in which star Bill Murray repeats the same day over and over.   Even though much of life may be routine, we can experience the divine in our daily lives.

As followers of Christ, we have the Spirit of God in us (John 14:16-17).  We are reborn in Christ of the Spirit (John 3:3-8).  There is great assurance in this.  However, we can become disconnected from these truths.  We can go through the motions of life.  We may be “saved”, but we may not be living to our full potential as adopted sons and daughters of Christ.  Are we truly living as if our bodies are God’s temple (1 Cor. 3:16)?  Are we living bold lives of faith because we are empowered through the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 3:20)?

In the midst of our busy daily schedules, we often don’t make the time to be still in the presence of God.  I believe that the evil one likes to keep us overly busy and distracted.  Perhaps, we can start to be still more and reflect on the Spirit of God which is in us.  In those moments of stillness, maybe we can listen to the quiet sound of our breathing and reflect on God who gives us life and hope.   While we each have breath in us, hopefully we will not waste our days, but live in the promise and joy of our salvation.

(c) Martin E. Willoughby Jr.

Guard Your Heart

 

Originally Published in Metro Christian Living

One of my favorite activities in life is “daddy-daughter” dates with Ally, my 10 year old.  I savor this time, as I fear that her hormones will be kicking in soon, and she will not dare be seen in public with me.  On one of our recent dates, we went to see the movie Soul Surfer based on the true story of Bethany Hamilton.  She was an up and coming 13 year old competitive surfer who lost her arm in a shark attack.  Her tragedy captured the world’s attention, as well as her heroic comeback to surf again.  Today, she is a 21 year old professional surfer who continues to inspire people with her courage and perseverance.  While it is an encouraging and uplifting story, I took particular note of the Christian aspects of this film.  Bethany’s own faith is the bedrock of her strength, and she is bold in proclaiming that fact.  Instead of erasing this important aspect of her life, the movie honestly portrayed her as a person of faith.

There is an age old debate about whether, “art imitates life or life imitates art.”  I have also heard the argument that today, “art has begun to define our reality and meaning.” In other words, as our society continues to move away from the anchoring of the relationships of civic and church life, our values and thought life are now shaped by the world of the media.  We turn to the television, movies, and internet to define for us what we should care about, what our ethics should be, and even what we should wear.  Instead of sorting through these important life issues and working them out in community, we are now bombarded with images that mold our subconscious in ways that we probably don’t even know.  Images are powerful communicators of messages.  There is a reason that our churches used to have elaborate stain glass images to portray the messages of the Gospel. Today, we have replaced these stain glass images with jumbo screens.  While the medium has changed for these Gospel images, at least the message has been generally consistent.

With smartphones, and now the iPad and similar devices, we can literally feast ourselves on as much information and imagery as we can possibly stand.  Even though we are often educated about what food we put in our bodies, we don’t talk much about what we “ingest” through our senses.  In Psalms 101:3 David says, “I will set before my eyes no vile thing.”  The wisdom of Proverbs also teaches us to, “guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” When we consume media, we are shaping our thoughts and views of the world.  I believe that just as it’s important to be knowledgeable about what eat so that we make wise choices, we similarly need to educate ourselves about what we consume with our minds.

How do we do this? For movies, we can utilize resources such www.previewonline.org. These type sites provide in depth description of what we are actually exposing ourselves to in the movies we watch. We can also make sure we are reading classic books that have stood the test of time. We can view art and imagery that have inspired people for centuries. We can be uplifted by music that speaks to our soul.  We can read magazines that inspire us to be better people like Metro Christian Living! God gave us the arts as a blessing.  Unfortunately, many people utilize the arts and media to manipulate us for their own personal or financial gain.  As Christians, let’s be people who create great art and media for the world to enjoy.  Further, let’s make sure in this world of unlimited alternatives, that we take the time to “guard our hearts” and make wise choices with our media consumption.

(c) Martin E. Willoughby, Jr.

What Kind of Wake Are You Leaving?

Originally Published in Metro Christian Living

What kind of wake are you leaving?  My in-laws used to live on the water, and I remember the “Leave No Wake” sign that reminded boaters to be conscious of their wake.  Of course, there would be the occasional hotshot in a speedboat who would ignore the rules and crank it up full speed leaving huge disruptive waves for others to deal with.   Whether we want to believe it or not, we all are leaving a wake with our lives.  Our families, friends, neighbors, co-workers, and even strangers are impacted by our wake.  None of us really lives in a “no wake zone.”  The real question is what kind of wake are we leaving?   Are we leaving a wake of destruction or sowing seeds of love and joy?

I think back to my life prior to knowing Christ, and I am ashamed at the pain and heartache that I caused others. I was leaving a destructive wake because I was living for myself.  I was out for #1.  Pride and selfishness cause us to only think about ourselves and not how our lives are negatively impacting others.  One of my favorite things is to hear people give their testimony, particularly when they are about to be baptized.  These are usually inspirational stories about how God has worked in their lives transforming them from people living for themselves to living for Christ.   I enjoy being around new believers.  The energy and passion is contagious.  They are eager to start leaving a new wake.  I take great comfort in knowing that no matter how bad my wake was or is that I have been forgiven and that the slate is clean.

Just because we come to know Christ, it does not mean that all of our old habits disappear.  Many of these old habits are often tied to our selfish ways and have to be replaced with new habits born out of our relationship with Christ.  As disciples, we are learning how to create new habits that bring glory to Him.  Think of the wake of the early followers who risked their lives to share the Good News.  Our lives are forever changed by the purposefulness and sacrifice of their lives.  In more recent times, we can think about Mother Theresa and the wake of love and compassion for the world’s most needy that she left behind.  To bring it closer to home, perhaps there is someone who influenced your life in a positive way.  Maybe it was a coach, a teacher, or a friend who planted seeds of hope in you.

When our lives on this earth come to an end, we try to capture the lives of those we love in short obituaries and meaningful services.  While these are meaningful, they can’t come close to capturing just how important that person’s life was and how many people were impacted by it.   Like a ripple going out on the water that fades in the distance, we never really know how far and wide our wake really goes.  I believe that we benefit from being conscious of our wake and purposeful in what kind of wake we are leaving behind.

Zig Ziglar shares a great story called “Kicking the Cat” that illustrates the ripple effect of our lives.  His story starts with a CEO having a bad day and follows the downward spiral of negativity as each boss chews out the subordinate ending up with the switchboard operator chewing out her son who then kicks a tomcat in his path.  As Ziglar says, “It would have been better if the CEO went directly to the switchboard operator’s house and kicked that cat himself and left all those other people out it.”  Each of us can leave a wake of “kicking the cat,” or we can choose each day to be purposeful in leaving a wake of hope and joy for others.  Happy Easter!

(C) Martin E. Willoughby, Jr.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Coast Better Off for McKenzie’s Vision

Originally published in Mississippi Business Journal

One of the challenges leaders face is how to keep their finger on the pulse of the organization.  I have found that entrepreneurs typically hit a point in their growth curve where they are no longer “hands on” with all of the projects, and they have to learn to delegate effectively.  This can lead to anxiety and cause some entrepreneurs to become frustrated with their lack of visibility into what is going on.  Similarly, CEO’s and other executive leaders are often several layers removed from the front line employees that are “hands on” with the customers.   As I sit in strategic planning meetings with executives, it is obvious to me those who have lost touch with the voice of the customer and the needs of their front line team.

Duncan McKenzie, President and General Manager of the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Biloxi, is a seasoned executive and understands how important it is to have clear visibility into the issues of the organization.  McKenzie has 37 years of experience in the gaming and hospitality industry.  He is a native of Romeo, Michigan, and he graduated from Michigan State University.  His first job out of college was with a Hilton hotel in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina as a bar porter.  This experience led to a job as an accounts payable clerk at a Hilton in Atlanta. Duncan went on to be a leader within the Hilton organization over a career that spanned almost thirty years.  In his early thirties, he was serving as controller for the largest Hilton property, and he decided to make a career transition out of accounting and into Hilton’s general management and gaming division.  His career with Hilton required him to move around a good bit, and he and his family have lived in numerous locations including Dallas, Atlanta, New Orleans, Kansas City, and Las Vegas.  His career led him to being President and General Manager of the Grand Casino Properties on the Gulf Coast, and in January of 2008, Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Biloxi hired him as President and General Manager. Read the rest of this entry…

Stanley: Communication is Key for Success in Business

Originally published in Mississippi Business Journal

Ronald Reagan, our 40th President, was known as “The Great Communicator.”  He earned this title because of his skill in communicating complex issues in easy to understand terms people could understand.  He also projected an optimism that inspired people.   He deeply cared if his audience connected with his message, so he would seek honest feedback from his staff on his speeches to see where he needed to improve.  Each of us also has the ability to be a great communicator.  We may not speak before Congress, but we speak in front of our customers, our coworkers, and family all the time.  In addition, we communicate in writing in enormous volumes these days.   Think about how many emails or texts you send on an average week.  Author and Certified Speaking Professional Mandi Stanley notes, “The quality of your writing directly reflects the quality of your work.”  I agree with her assertion, and it gives me pause to think about all of the emails I send each day and whether they reflect the quality of communication that they should.

I believe communication is a core skill for great leaders, so I was excited to meet with Mandi recently to learn more about her career and thoughts on being an effective communicator.  Mandi grew up in Amory, Mississippi, and graduated summa cum laude from Mississippi State.  After college, she moved to Dallas and worked as a technical proposal writer for a healthcare firm.  It was in this job that Mandi began to hone her written communication skills and understand the importance of clear and effective writing in the marketplace.  She then moved to Kansas City where she took a job with a seminar company.   After working for a few months in her new job, she was asked by her employer to try out to be one of the seminar speakers.   Her company saw her potential as a speaker and told her she could have the job if she could lose her Southern drawl.  She was only 24, so she had to wait seven more months to begin speaking on the road because the rental car companies won’t let you rent a car until you are 25.  Mandi shared, “I am glad my boss was patient enough to wait until my birthday because this role launched my career as a speaker.  However, I never lost my Southern accent!” Read the rest of this entry…

Operational Excellence- Smith Uses Technology for His Supply Chain

Originally published in Mississippi Business Journal

Some people call it fate or luck.  Others may consider it God’s providence.  Regardless, it is interesting to me to see how our lives and careers are often shaped by unforeseen twists and turns. Ed Smith, Chief Supply Chain and Contracts Management Officer for the University of Mississippi Medical Center (UMMC), has been actively involved in the field of supply chain management in healthcare for over 27 years. Smith has become a nationally recognized leader in his field, but his career path would certainly have been hard to predict.

Ed was a standout football player in high school.  His plan was to go off to college on a football scholarship.  However, he sustained a serious injury to his shoulder his senior year which ended his football career.  With his ability to get a scholarship gone, Ed took a job out of high school working on a river barge. Over the course of three years, he had worked his way up to being a second mate and saved up enough money to pay for college.  However, before he started, his father’s house burned down and it was underinsured.  Ed used his college savings to help his father rebuild his house.  Since he no longer had his savings, Ed went on to school and took a job as a shipping clerk at a local hospital to pay for school.  As they say, “the rest is history.”  From his first job as a minimum wage shipping clerk, Ed has gone on to become an industry thought leader in supply chain management. Read the rest of this entry…

Everyday Miracles

Originally Published in Metro Christian Living

A few years ago, I heard a eulogy for a woman who had died tragically way before her time.  Her pastor talked at length about the strength of her faith and how she was a delivery person of God’s miracles.  In fact, one thing she did sticks out in my mind to this day.  She prepared homeless kits that she would keep in her car.  Whenever she encountered people down on their luck, she would provide them with one of the kits she had put together to try to help them on their way.  She knew that she could not solve the world’s problems, but she was available to do her part to be a blessing to others.  When she died, they found several of these kits in her car. She was on mission until the end.

It is easy to know a lot about Jesus but not know really know Him. There are countless books written on Christianity, many of which are very enriching and encouraging.  However, book knowledge of Christ does not change your life.  It is an interaction with the Living God, the creator of the universe that changes your life.  I can speak from experience of having head knowledge about faith, but no heart knowledge. My faith was flat, and I was going through the motions.  I did not experience the fruits of the Spirit.  I thought there had to be more.  It was only once I encountered God miraculously at work that I truly began to really know Him.

Some may doubt God even exists or that He still works miracles.  I admit that I believe that our Creator can and does work miracles today.  The question then is how does He work those miracles?  Often, we are the delivery vehicle for God’s miracles.  If we act as God prompts us to, we can bless people with God’s life changing miracles. Bruce Wilkinson, best-selling author of the Prayer of Jabez, makes a strong argument in his more recent book entitled You Were Born This that we should expect God to work miracles in our everyday life.  His book is full of encouraging stories about modern day miracles.  I am not talking about parting the Red Sea, but everyday miracles when people reach out and deliver help to others in pivotal points of need.

Have you ever had the feeling that you were supposed to say something to somebody or Wilkinson calls this a “Holy nudge.”  God is prompting us.  I don’t know about you, but far too many times I have justified not acting on that nudge.

To be involved in God’s everyday miracles, Wilkinson suggests that we first need to realize that God has called us to be on mission with Him in kingdom activity.  We may be a parent, spouse, worker, neighbor, but first and foremost, we are adopted children of God called to be on mission with Him in this world. We also need to have a heart for God’s people.  That means it is not just people we know or like, it is all of God’s people.  As miracle delivery workers, we are not acting in our own power.  We are leaning on God and acting in partnership with the Holy Spirit.  Finally, we have to take risks, and we have to get outside our comfort zone to act when we get that “Holy nudge.”   For example, Wilkinson shared that he keeps money in his wallet he calls his “God Pocket” that he has earmarked for miracle opportunities.  He is ready.  Like Wilkinson and his “God Pocket” or the woman I shared about above and her homeless kits, we all have the ability to be God’s everyday miracle delivery workers. Whose life could be changed forever because we were prepared and willing to act courageously on God’s “Holy nudges?”

(C) Martin E. Willoughby, Jr.

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